Parent as Tutor: Support Child’s Online Learning Without Ruining Your Relationship

Let’s face it, today’s kids are the generation that knows everything (well, almost). They live in a digital world from an early age: tablets, YouTube, voice assistants and games are not just entertainment or helpers, but their natural environment. They absorb information at an astonishing rate, switch between tasks, instantly master interfaces, and can even explain to an adult how to set up a smartphone. Ask any five-year-old and you’ll be surprised at how confidently they can tell you how to track a phone by the number, but they, like any child, may have difficulty with motivation for online learning or self-discipline.

Parents often fall into the trap of either completely letting go of the process, counting on the fact that “everything will settle down by itself”, or become harsh mentors, imposing on the child a learning rhythm that does not suit them. In the end, the least harmless thing they get is conflict, irritation, tears and lost contact. But is it possible to become a tutor for a child – a person who gently but confidently helps them to learn, develop and grow? Without turning into a teacher, a supervisor or a “tech support on minimum wage”?

Today we would like to talk about how to build a competent parent-mentor strategy: without conflicts, with maximum benefit for the child’s development and with respect for the child’s space. 

Step 1: Accept That You Are Not a Teacher – You Are a Mentor

One of the biggest mistakes you can make as a parent when helping your children with online learning is trying to take on the role of a traditional teacher. But unless you have professional teaching experience, this way of thinking often leads to frustration – for both you and your child. So instead of posing as an authority figure, think of yourself as a mentor, i.e. your role is not to dictate lessons, but to guide, encourage and inspire.

And the first thing you should do is to build trust over control. As even a study of the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development shows that in case parents support their children, the latter are more emotionally stable and tend to have higher motivation and engagement in school. This is especially true for online learners, who are often  emotionally and physically isolatedoften from peers and teachers.

That is why, instead of enforcing strict rules, try to create an atmosphere where your child feels comfortable discussing their struggles. For this you may ask open-ended questions like:

• “What was the most interesting thing you learned today?”
• “What’s something that confused you?”
• “How do you feel about your progress this week?”

Just try this attitude and you will see that if your children feel heard, they are more likely to see learning as a positive experience rather than a stressful obligation.

One way to build this trust is to align learning with their natural curiosities: if your child loves dinosaurs, use that interest to explore science, reading, and history lessons. But in case they are fond of video games, you can discuss coding and game design. When learning is connected to real passions, children become active participants rather than passive listeners.

Step 2: Create a Digital Learning Space That Reduces Chaos

The second important thing you as a parent should consider is a well-organized space. Without structure, homeschooling can quickly become a mixture of distractions and procrastination, as it’s always easier for a child to search for the “fifth corner” with their eyes than to focus on the nuances of literature or math.

And here you may have a reasonable question like: “How to create an effective learning space for my child?” Well, first of all, start with choosing a dedicated spot – whether it is a desk in the bedroom or a quiet corner in the living room, ensure that this space is only used for schoolwork. Then you need to eliminate some distractions, so keep unnecessary devices away. And finally try to maintain a routine and set clear learning hours to create a sense of consistency. With this some apps can help you (you may find them in the table below).

Tool	Description	Benefit
Forest	A focus app that encourages concentration by rewarding users with virtual trees as they stay on task.	Helps your child focus without distractions (turning productivity into a fun game).
Flipd	Blocks distracting apps and websites to keep your child focused on their studies.	Ensures that your child stays engaged during study time, without the temptation of social media or games.
Freedom	Allows users to block websites and apps on multiple devices during study sessions.	Blocks distractions across all devices, ensuring complete focus during homework or online lessons.
Number Tracker (not an educational app, but it helps just as much)	Real-time location tracking app that helps you stay informed about your child’s whereabouts.	If your child studies at a co-learning space, it allows you to ensure they are in a safe environment without interrupting their focus with constant check-ins.

Fun Fact: Studies show that using focus apps can improve concentration and productivity by 30% during study sessions. And due to gamifying focus, kids find it easier to stay focused and get things done more efficiently.

Step 3: Help Them Learn – Don’t Do It for Them

One of the biggest traps parents fall into when supporting their child’s online education is doing too much. We understand your desire and what is more it is absolutely natural to want to help when your child struggles with a tricky math problem or a complex history paragraph or essay, but learning happens when children actively engage with challenges (not when answers are handed to them).

Some studies say that students with developed problem-solving skills rather than children relying on outside help are twice as likely to retain information long-term. This means that while it may seem faster to explain the answer directly, guiding a child through the learning process leads to the development of understanding and critical thinking skills.

Thus, instead of focusing on getting the “right” answer immediately, encourage your child to solve problems step by step. For example, here you can try asking: “What do you already know about this problem?”; “Can you break it down into smaller parts?”; “Where could we look for clues or examples?” These types of questions train their brain to think independently. 

Trick for parents: Always model the struggle in a positive way. If you are unfamiliar with a topic, say, “I don’t know the answer either – let us figure it out together!” This shows that learning is a lifelong process and that it is okay not to know everything immediately.

And also pay attention that children learn best when they have the freedom to experiment. Mistakes aren’t failures; they are opportunities to improve, thus instead of correcting every wrong answer, let them explore different solutions. If they make a calculation error, ask: “does this answer make sense?” or “how could you check your work?” This technique (known as guided discovery learning) has been proven to also improve problem-solving abilities and memory retention.

Step 4: Respect Their Autonomy and Personal Space

Well, another the most common reason for parent-child conflicts that arises during online learning is micromanagement. Constantly monitoring your child’s progress, correcting their work, or reminding them about deadlines can feel suffocating. Yes, the structure is important, but children learn best when they have ownership over their education. Thus, what can you try and do here? This is so-called collaborative attitude:

• Ask your child how they prefer to structure their study time.
• Let them set their own deadlines for assignments (within reasonable limits).
• Encourage them to organize their learning materials in a way that makes sense to them.

For example, a simple but effective way to stay involved without being overbearing is to introduce daily learning check-ins – but make them relaxed and informal. Call it a “learning coffee” (or tea, hot chocolate, etc.) session where you sit down together for 10 minutes to discuss what they’ve been working on. Here you can ask somethin like: “what’s one thing you feel proud of today?” or “did anything challenge you?”, or even “is there anything you need help with?” Due to this you can keep the lines of communication open without making your child feel like they are being interrogated.

Step 5: Discuss Emotions, Not Just Progress

Online learning can be isolating. Students who learn remotely are twice as likely to experience stress and burnout compared to children in traditional classrooms. That is why it is essential to check in on their emotions, not just their academic progress. So, encourage open conversations about how they feel about their learning experience:

• Are they enjoying the material?
• Do they feel frustrated or stuck?
• Are they feeling socially disconnected?

A great way to bring fun into learning is by introducing Thematic Fridays, e.g., one day a week where learning takes a creative twist. This could mean: “History Movie Night” with watching a film related to what they’re studying or “Math in Real Life” to bake something together and talk about measurements. These little changes break up the monotony of online learning and help children associate education with positive emotions.

The 21st Century Mentor: a Balance between Support and Freedom

The role of a parent in online learning is not about timetabled lessons or monitoring every task completed. It is the skill of being there, to support but not replace the child’s efforts and create an environment for growth, but leave room for independence. In the end, the most valuable knowledge lies behind the school program like the ability to adapt, think critically and find solutions. And the best mentor is the one who helps a child not just to learn, but to learn to learn.